On March 12, 2016 I wrote a prayer in my personal journal and felt called to share it with you. I think we forget how honest we should be with each other. I think we forget what our prayers really sound like and how our Instagrams and conversations portray them to be. So without further ado here is my honest prayer:
How do I love you and live in a sinful world? I feel trapped in the impossible feat that being a Christian is. I don’t think you like to watch me face sin and sin win. Speak to me. Guide me in the way that glorifies you. In light of feminists, gay rights, and equality rights; how am I to be used in that? Lord show me my place in all of this. How do I be a friend to many while encouraging your values? How do I be intolerant and loving? Ever since I was young I befriended the outcast, minority, problem child, my heart went and goes there first. How did Jesus do it? He walked the streets and saw all things and loved all the people in those things. Help me to see people before I see their sin. You are the author and perfecter of my faith. It is hard to be so young and to want so much and feel as though I cannot have it yet. I struggle between the wants and needs and expectations of others for me, of You for me, and of me for myself. Thank you for saving my by grace because grace is the only way I can come to you. It’s amazing with the hurtful words I say and thoughts I have that you step down to me every day and let grace fall so abundantly down on me. I did no thing to deserver this glorious life with you. My goal is to go on a coffee date with you every morning. When I brew my cuppa I want to sit with you and talk about my day (ALL OF IT), and read Your Words for me, and live with you as the beginning of my day. Set my heart right early. SO Lord of my life, I give you my relationship, Your Will be done. I give you my identity, May I be found only in You. I give you mouth, May it only speak words of truth. I give you my intentions, May they reflect only the Gospel. I pray my life be seen by others in only that I exemplify whatever is true, noble, lovely, right, pure, and admirable things. I need you Lord more than I need water. I am unworthy of your grace yet You hand over so easily and so simply. Thank you. I love you O Lord.
Remember who your Lord is and as a body of Christ, let us be honest about the weekly and daily struggles of loving Jesus. It is not an easy feat. May we be honest and kind with one another. I am praying for you as you pray for me. There is no greater power than prayer. Let us join together honestly and love purely on each other so that we can Christians living in the reality of the world and being joyful that we are all in this together.