Christianity · Friendships

Let’s talk about friends after high school.

Friendships can be tricking no matter what age you are. I hear a lot of people wish for simpler times. These are the classic scene from High School Musical 3 where they say ‘Like Kindergarten’. Well kindergarteners don’t know what’s ahead. But they dream big. They want to rule the world and believe in themselves whole heartedly. As we grow up, we lose this belief. We question ourselves and people around us. We learned from experiences. And that’s okay. Growing up is normal. Changing the way we believe in ourselves isn’t okay. So point number 1 don’t stop believing in yourself.

So now we are out of kindergarten and everything in between and on to the adult world of friendships. I want to say this clearly because in high school I didn’t think I wouldn’t be friends with people that I never see anymore. In order to maintain good friendships with the people you went to high school with you have to focus on a word that I am learning in my vocabulary lately: acceptance. According to dictionary.com, acceptance is a noun that means to take or receive what is offered. People grow up. People change. The choice is to accept them or not. To receive what they offer as a friend or not. Now there are many other ways that can become a more complicated decision. As a girl I completely understand that. Girls are the hardest friends to have and sometimes the hardest thing for a girl to do is be a friend.

As you move on from high school and continue in your adult life here are some questions you can ask yourself about a friendship if it seems to be falling through:

1. Is this a natural or caused falling out?

2. Does what this person has to offer me bring me more abundant life?

3. What was the last conversation that I had with this friend? And was it important?

4. Is there anything I have done that could make this friendship better or worse?

These are simple questions. However, if you think about your best friend and answer these questions; you might realize the kind of friends you want to have and the kind of friend you are. For me it is very hard to lose friends. I love people. They are the greatest creatures on this planet. People are not perfect and sometimes friendships can be harmful to bigger portions of life. Making the decision to let people go can really be hard, but sometimes it is the very best.

Lastly, I want you know how much Jesus sees you as a friend. If you are like me and acceptance can be hard sometimes, this might give you some perspective. Jesus accepts you. He sees you when your heart is in the wrong and he accepts that. He loves you despite the things that separate you from Him. Ultimately, He is the best friend anyone could ever ask for. So through deciphering who to be friends with after high school and how to navigate the adult world of friendships. Really pray and ask God to show you how to be accepting, how to love despite changes, and how to always be there even if it seems like the biggest task in the world.

John 15:12-15 states: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

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